


A Riverdale Carol

by Alyoops



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Also the dumbest, But I felt compelled to write it, Crack, F/F, Gen, I mean... kinda, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, This is the weirdest idea I've had for a story, Wordcount: 100-500, but enjoy?, even I'm not sure why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 05:32:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13117089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyoops/pseuds/Alyoops
Summary: Some silly crack fic, from an idea I had back in February and wrote in October because I knew my lazy ass wouldn't have it done in time for Christmas if I waited until December.Your guess is as good as mine as to why this exists.





	A Riverdale Carol

_ …Veronica smiled. “A merry Christmas, Betty,” she said, as she kissed her on the cheek. “A merrier Christmas, my darling, than I have given you for many a year. I’ll raise your salary, and endeavour to assist your struggling family, and show you the depths of my love for you.” _

_ Veronica was better than her word. She did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Archie, who did not die, she was a second mother. She became as good a girlfriend, as good a woman, as the good old town of Riverdale knew. _

 

* * *

 

“...and so, as Tiny Archie observed, God bless us, every one!” Veronica set down her paper and looked expectantly towards the three boys in front of her. “So, what do you guys think?”

Kevin and Archie sat there, dumbfounded, having had to listen to the entirety of her “re-invention,” as she put it, of ‘A Christmas Carol’ for the past hour and a half. When Veronica had invited them all down to Pop’s, they didn’t really know what they were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that.

Jughead just gave a noncommittal ‘so-so’ gesture.

“Well, that certainly was… something,” Kevin started. “There were some things I thought a little strange–”

“Your prose needs work,” Jughead said around a burger. Veronica shot him a steely glare, but he appeared unfazed. “Your use of metaphors was pretty well done, though.”

“And from people whose opinions actually matter?” Veronica asked to Kevin.

Kevin took his time organizing his thoughts; he had a _ lot _ of questions.

“Well, first, making Jason the Ghost of Christmas Past seemed a little insensitive.”

“I thought it was sweet,” Cheryl said from her stool at the counter.

Veronica gave her a polite smile. “Thank you, Cheryl.” 

“Jason used to love Christmas…”

The entire diner collectively groaned.

“Anyway.” Kevin rubbed his temples, already feeling a headache forming. “While having all three Pussycats be Christmas Present–”

“Who I paid to let me use their likeness.”

“Sure. Why then did you have only Moose do a song and dance routine. During your funeral scene. As himself.”

“It was very important to the narrative!”

Kevin shook his head. He really wasn’t getting any closer to understanding any of this, and he’d rather much be at home doing homework. Or banging his head on the wall. Just anywhere else really.

“Why was I Tiny Tim?”

“Actually, that’s the only part that made sense really.” Kevin gave Archie a consoling pat on the back.

“Okay,” Veronica stretched out the last syllable to get the attention back on her. “But did you think it was any good?”

“What assignment is this for again?”

“Oh, this isn’t for any class. It’s one of my many Christmas gifts for Betty. I’m just wondering if you think she’d like it?”

Kevin stared at her. “Oh. Well, I guess you could just ask her.”

Veronica turned in her seat to Betty sitting next to her, tears streaming down the young blonde’s face.

“It was s-so b-beautiful, Ronnie.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'm sorry?


End file.
